Feelings of a Pimp

They think I was a player because I was devoted to the game

They thought I worked hard on my offense to break down these women’s defenses just to score

They think it’s the body count that made me manipulate them into my arms to get between their legs

They think I’m satisfied with a different woman in my bed every night

When during the day, even my bed can feel the loneliness

They think I love the easy women

They think it’s for the cool points that my heart grew cold

They think they have me figured out

Another dog chasing after every female dog in the streets

They think I’m happy with all the texting buddies, but no wife

But they don’t know

They don’t know how tired I am of this, how tired I am of myself

How tired I am of living like this

How tired I am of these games, but that’s the only way I can score with a chick.

They don’t know how after sleeping with these ladies, I wish I had more chemistry with at least one of them to cuddle, to give goodnight kisses and wake up beside.

They don’t know how loneliness consumes me

With a phone filled with women’s numbers, I still feel unwanted and unworthy

They don’t know these easy women make it easy for me to feel confident about myself; although it’s the wrong type of confidence

I feel validated by them, I feel accomplished, I feel loved although I’m having sex with them, not making love

They don’t know how tired I am of chasing fool’s gold

Chasing fast women who would sleep with me in a heartbeat

Leaving me with the empty feeling I felt before I started the chase

The player in me is played out. I just want love, but that’s the only thing I can’t seem to find

So, I keep pimping in hope of finding love.

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