By Promise Odejide
Emotional intelligence (EI or EQ) is the ability to perceive, understand, use, and manage emotions in oneself and others. It is a set of skills that can help people communicate effectively, build healthy relationships, cope with stress, and achieve their goals.
Emotional intelligence has been popularized by psychologist Daniel Goleman, who identified five domains of EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. These domains can be further divided into competencies that can be learned and improved through practice.
Some of the benefits of emotional intelligence include:
◾ Improved mental and physical health: People with high EI are more likely to have positive emotions, lower levels of stress and anxiety, and better immune system functioning.
◾Enhanced performance and productivity: People with high EI are more motivated, focused, creative, and adaptable. They can also handle challenges, feedback, and conflicts better.
◾ Stronger leadership and teamwork: People with high EI can inspire, influence, and collaborate with others. They can also manage emotions in group settings and foster trust and cooperation.
◾ Better interpersonal relationships: People with high EI can empathize with others, express their feelings appropriately, and resolve disputes constructively. They can also build deep connections and rapport with others.
Some examples of emotional intelligence in action are:
◾ Being open to feedback without getting defensive or taking it personally.
◾ Recognizing when someone is upset or angry and responding with compassion and support.
◾ Asking open-ended questions to understand another person's perspective and needs.
◾ Being able to control your impulses and emotions and think before you act or speak.
◾ Expressing gratitude and appreciation to others for their contributions and efforts.
◾ Being able to say no respectfully and assertively when necessary.
◾ Apologizing sincerely when you make a mistake or hurt someone's feelings.
◾ Celebrating the successes of others without feeling jealous or threatened.
How to develop emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is not a fixed trait that you are born with or without. It is a skill that can be developed through awareness, practice, and feedback. Here are some tips to help you improve your EI:
◾ Listen to your body: Your body gives you signals about your emotions through sensations, such as tension, butterflies, or warmth. Pay attention to these signals and label your emotions accurately. This will help you become more self-aware and self-regulating.
◾ Communicate your needs and emotions: Don't bottle up your feelings or expect others to read your mind. Express yourself clearly and respectfully using "I" statements, such as "I feel...", "I need...", or "I appreciate...". This will help you build empathy and social skills.
◾ Exercise empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. To practice empathy, try to put yourself in their shoes, imagine how they feel, and validate their emotions. You can also ask them questions to show interest and curiosity. This will help you improve your social awareness and relationship management.
◾Seek feedback: Feedback is essential for learning and growth. Seek feedback from others on how you handle emotions and interact with them. Be open-minded and receptive to their opinions and suggestions. Use the feedback to identify your strengths and areas for improvement.
Emotional intelligence is a valuable skill that can enhance your personal and professional life. By developing your EI, you can become more aware of yourself and others, more in control of your emotions and actions, more motivated to achieve your goals, more empathetic to others' feelings, and more skilled at building positive relationships.
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